Orange County Register

We at The Watchdog are regularly lambasted for our, how shall we say, unorthodox style.

The story about the state fining the South Coast Water District $204,000 for releasing brine into the ocean really sent folks off - we (GASP!) referred to brine as “salty yuck,” and people as “folks,” and, well, the list of literary sins goes on.

We explained to a gentleman named Mark Ely that this is a column, and, as such, we are free to write the way we talk.

This prompted him to heights of humor, which we share with you here (with his permission):

I don’t know if “I write like I talk” is a 400 level Journalism class or not, but I had some fun thinking of different scenarios.

If you were from the south:
The Atlanta Register: “Hey yall, the Water District got them a big ol  fine.”

 If you were from Maine:
 The Bangor Register: “The Water District got a wicked big fine.”

 If you were from Canada:
 The Montreal Register: “The hosers at the Water District are telling the state to take off to the great white north.”

 If you were from Minnesota:
 The Minnesota Register “Oh yea, you batcha it is a big fine for pollutin our lakes.”

If you were from the valley, circa 1980
The Valley Register: “Oh my gaw-wad, like the state is like fining the Water District for dumping groady water in the ocean, Fer Sure, As If?!?”

The Online text message Register,
The Text Register: “STG, d H2O district jst recvd a big fyn”

And this from reader Norman, commenting on the fired federal air marshal story:

“While I am not an editor, you may want to look at, or even heed, my notes on your article in the Register today. I found that an otherwise interesting article was marred by a folksy tone and sloppy subjectiveness that could have been corrected with a little care.”

The dear went on to actually copyedit the entire story as per Generally Accepted Journalistic Principles (around the newsroom some of us call this “the blandardizer”). You can find his hard work here: bad-news.

Anyway, we’re delighted to be inspiring passions of any sort, so keep the kicks coming. And if any of you have a better idea for how to get people to care about a story on one bureaucratic entity fining another bureaucratic entity, we’re all ears!

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